The Story of a Ballet Late Re-starter....

I got back into ballet because it has always been my passion to express myself through some form of performing arts. As a kid I wrote songs, stories, poems, was a gymnast, played the guitar, and did a bit of ballet. I grew up poor without financial or family support... I was an "A" student and was told that I must have a SERIOUS career and I wouldn't be allowed to go to New York City and be a starving artist.

Above is me at 19 years old, in 1979. (Sorry for the fuzzy picture).

I moved to Washington, DC at 17 and spent the next 20 years working on a medical journal. Then I was a business consultant until I put myself through college graduating with an honors degree in Psychology just in time for my 44th birthday!

I remarried in 2002, after falling in love for the first time. My new husband is my best friend and nurtures and believes in my dreams. Therefore, I've been encouraged for the first time in my life to pursue my artistic side for the sheer joy of personal expression. I sing, dance, and am learning to play the piano. We also have a banjo and mandolin in the family, which I've been eyeing with interest. We are empty nesters who have seven children between us, and 9 grandchildren.

Below is an interview that was conducted as a member of an international dance site:

Name: smileywoman

Exercise regimen: I have a dance studio at home, and was having three ballet lessons a week until I got too busy. I try to give myself a barre as often as I can, and on the days that I'm not doing ballet, I do conditioning on the treadmill, elliptical machine, Pilates reformer, weight training, and resistance training. When I can’t get a lesson I have a “class” with a video from my Finis Jung ballet video collection (which I highly recommend). I spend a lot of time warming up my body and muscles and do a very lengthy barre (my favorite), and a shortened center (my weakness because of balance problems), and if time and my feet problems permit a pointe lesson. I then do core strengthening and stretching before I go back to work. Self-employment allows for a flexible schedule in order to juggle work and dance. So I either have class in the late morning or early afternoon, depending on schedule. I was exercising 5 days a week, but developed an Achilles injury, so now I do two days on (generally, 90-120 minutes) one day off, two days on (one day off) etc. I also try to stretch everyday.

Ballet and Why: I was about seven years old when I started ballet. A girlfriend in school had a mom who taught ballet and she gave me free lessons in her home when she taught her daughter (I was poor and could not afford to pay for lessons). I was always hyper and full of energy so it was a good outlet.

Motivation to take ballet class: I feel utter serenity in class. Barre is my favorite thing to do. I'm so focused with mind and body that I feel the tension leaving (and my blood pressure probably lowers too) and nothing in the world exists except what I'm doing at that moment. I am motivated because my body craves movement to work out the stiffness from my day and the feeling of freedom that dance provides is priceless to me.

Classical ballet or modern choreography: As a dancer, I love classical ballet of course, and although I've never had modern training I adore improvising movement to music for myself. As an audience member I love to watch dance of all kinds, but the classics are what thrills me to the core...although I don't sit too far forward during a performance because I don’t want to spoil the experience by critiquing their dancing!

Dance Attire: I have nearly 30 Leos of varying colors! My favorite colors are those that compliment my coloring (teal, peach, and warm tones). I would love to own a red Leo, but have yet to find one that I like. The color red cheers me up and I have red pointes, so red would be a fun Leo color. As far as style I prefer either camisole or cap sleeve in cotton. I don't like white (does anyone?) as a style and I find tank styled Leos to be too restrictive, and halter's are too unpredictable with my female curves. My FAVORITE is unitards. I LOVE footless tights best.

My Dance bag: I have more than one dance bag, but my favorite is a denim one that has my name on it. It contains pointes, flats, lotion, foot roller, therabands, a bag of essentials (band-aids, lambs wool, toe spacers, and safety pins) a pair of white cotton socks, extra Leo and tights, warm-up shrug, pants and legwarmers, hair fasteners, music, and my NYCB workout book with all the great stretches and floor barre exercises!

Greatest disappointment in ballet: My greatest disappointment? 1) having to stop my pursuit of ballet as a career, and 2) developing a balance disorder that affects my non-barre work (particularly pirouettes). How I overcame? 1. Started an editorial career at 18 that lasted for 17 years, and then re-started ballet in my early 40's when I was able to return. 2. Changed my perfectionist attitude...age and a balance disorder requires a proper perspective. None of us are perfect, so dance with all your heart and with all of your abilities...don't hyper-focus in a negative way on your limitations. Dance for the joy of it and remember that age is just a number!

Barre or Center?: Barre is my favorite par of ballet class (center is the most difficult) as I mentioned above because it lifts my spirits and creates a serene mind and body link. I guess because I also love adagio more than allegro, the controlled focused movements of some barre exercises just make me feel good mentally and physically. Center is hard for me because I have a balance disorder, but I try anyway! The worse that could happen is that I fall.

My biggest obstacle in ballet or pointe and how did I overcome it? The biggest obstacle was re-starting in my 40's. Although, I am naturally quite flexible and I was a gymnast throughout my teens, it takes time and practice to re-condition an older body, but the body will never be at the same abilities as a youngster in their teens or 20's. Developing the strength to protect flexible limbs is important. I love stretching, floor barre, and my Pilates reformer.

Breaking in pointe shoes? I soften the box and vamp area with my hands, and then I do lots of releves and demi-plies, and step on them carefully with my hand. I've still not broken in my Grishkos (they're rocks)! The worst method is slamming them in the door, or using a hammer...BAD idea!

Pointe shoes (how many, favorite brand and style, preferred type of padding): I have 8 pairs of pointes: three pairs Gambas (my oldest are the ones that I wore more than 25 years ago). Gambas aren't sold in my area so I had to work hard to find an on-line supplier; three pairs of GMs (size 9M sleeks); two pair of an off brand "Cameos" in red and black; and Grishko 2007s. I have a mixture of other brands that don't work or the size is wrong so I'm selling them... I recently dyed my favorite GMs green! :D

Quitting dance? I did quit dance, but not of my own free will. My mom and step-dad wanted me to have a "serious" career and never wanted me to pursue the performing arts. I was not supported in my dreams. Everything I did or became in life was because of my own effort and will-power. I learned at an early age that YOU are what you make of YOURSELF. In my early 20's when I was modeling, I started to do barre and conditioning on my own to re-develop my strength and flexibility, but didn't really take classes again for another 20 years.

The person who has impacted your dancing the most? How do I answer that? The first dance step of course when I was 7 was because of the efforts of a kind mother figure who gave me free lessons and gave me my first experience at dance. As an adult re-starter in her 40's the person who impacted my dancing the most is my husband Dan (Mr. smileywoman) because he truly believes in me and supports ANYTHING that I want to do. I've never had anyone believe or support me in my life until I met him.

Challenges? My current challenges are continuing to develop my strength and dance without injury and too much pain. I have a neuroma in both feet and the left one will need surgery sooner than later. I'm so afraid I will never be able to dance en pointe again after I have the surgery that I keep putting it off. It also takes a lot of warm-up before class to prepare my older body to do a complete barre to my satisfaction. I’m also developing bunions for the first time in my life and they make my feet hurt, and toe spacers just don’t feel right. I'm also starting to have an Achilles tendon problem in my left foot.

Advice? Dance with all of your heart to the best of your ability, focusing on the positives of your dancing not your limitations, and Dance for YOURSELF.

We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same.